I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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