just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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