also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
