what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
