So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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