Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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