I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
