i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
