And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
