Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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