Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
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