Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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