do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
My pussy is not your playground.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize