and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
a search helicopter?!
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
