I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
