Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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