And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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