PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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