Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
