so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
