I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
