at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
