I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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