We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
