Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
