I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
