I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
