Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
