we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
