I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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