so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
