I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
