she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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