You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize