You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
