His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
