Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize