Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
