u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
