So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize