That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize