i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
