"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
