my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
