Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
