i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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