yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize