I think I am morally bankrupt
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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