I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
