"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
