what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
why is half of my head shaved?
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