Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
