do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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