I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
