if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize