I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
