I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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