I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
