He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
