She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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