I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
God, I missed his penis.
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