All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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