I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
