you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
