Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
